January 20, 2022

High Broken People

We all take many forms

I think that’s what growing up is

Trying on this, trying on that

Whether it’s clothes or people

The chic velvet green headband

Or the mysterious older guy

Who seems so cut away from the drama

And you’re so drawn to him

We see something new we are inspired by

Fall into that world of excitement

It’s like your regular scientific high

It’s way up until it comes crashing down

The sick rollercoaster you love

We know what we need to focus on

Yet we constantly distract ourselves

By the people. the adoration. the rejection. the desires. the dreaming

We can’t seem to manage all of it

Into a neatly tied little life box

We’re not supposed to

Barefoot in the kitchen

Sweeping up the latest mess

Shattered glass and pools of milk

Wearing your latest vintage tee

And high socks with jeans

The millennial icon

You’re wondering what could be

While rejecting what is right now

Watching other people’s lives

By the flick of a finger

On any social media you desire

To play the comparison game

And to get into the lives of people you admire

Are you inspired

Or are you just jealous

“Live in the moment”

As we update our fans

On the drink. time. place. and friends we’re with on every weekend

“Be present”

As we take photos to show this that him her and the amazing night we’re having

For keeping the memories

Or proving you’re okay?

How can we know ourselves

When our brain inventory

Is full of you her him them they

Not enough room for you

In all that them

You’re so young and so unaware

Of the world and how to fit in it

What will your next caffeine rush

Epiphanize for you about your reality

Are you LA or NY?

All of us building our own brand

A personal brand

Of who we are

Maybe that’s the difference between us and our generational counterparts

We’re focused on being our own brand

When they focused on building someone’s brand for them

I’ve seen it in myself time and time again

Wonder awe excitement jealously fear

The everlasting ingredients of youth

That’s how we get so mesmerized

By what we perceive as the latest and greatest in our lives

We want to have fun and have fun the way we think we should be having it

I can’t say I’m fully that person anymore

Seeing which emotion comes up on the spectrum of my life’s feelings

I’m more grounded now

More stable

The only thing that got me here was God.

But I still have relapses

Like addicts do

To the art of emotions

The satiated youth

Constantly on the merry go round

Of fear fun excitement jealousy

Happily circling yourself into oblivion.

New Jersey Wedding Photographer

I left space open with the intention of showing I have room for more versions of myself to grow into.

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